A Creative Life Part 1

What does it look like to live a creative life? This is a question I’ve been wrestling with the past few days. I’ve felt somewhat stuck recently. You know the saying, “When it rains, it pours”? That’s been the picture of my life recently, and between everything I’m working through, I’ve managed to find myself at an unfortunate stopping point. And I don’t want to stay here. So, in working through a lot of stuff, I’ve discovered a dearth of creativity in my life. Which is strange, coming from a writer and musician who adores cooking and really wishes she could draw more than a stick figure. But I think it’s a deeper issue than that.

I’m not talking about a creative life in the vein of what you normally might picture – artist, musician, writer, painter, etc. I’m looking for a whole-life creative life. Sometimes I have a tendency to cling so tightly to order and the way things have “always been done,” to my routine and safety nets that I forget that life, in its most crystalline form, is unexpected. It’s not meant to be a rigid set of routines and dogmatic assumptions. It’s being open to God whispering in my ear and saying, “I have something new.”

A creative life takes all of those routines and comfort zones and tosses them out. That’s not to say that a creative life is one of complete chaos. There’s something really beautiful in having your routines and order of doing things. There’s a certain level of joy and anticipation knowing that on Sunday mornings, I’m going to sit at my coffee shop with my tea and write. But a creative life comes from knowing that at any moment, that could change. If I turn down breakfast with a friend on a Sunday morning because I’m sticking so tightly to what I know, that would suck the life out of, well, life. So I enjoy the moment and I skip my routine, because really, there is nothing better than breakfast with friends.

The uncreative life says, “This is what I’ve done.” The creative life says, “This is what I will do, or what I could do.” That creative life opens the doors for possibilities and for change. It opens you up to an entirely new set of, “What ifs?” It allows you to be more present in your life, more available to the people in your life, and more aware of the beauty that surrounds every moment – if only you look for it.

A creative life also allows you to look for other answers and ways around problems. I hate my white apartment walls. They are painfully boring, and I want to do something fresh and exciting! But for the past four months, I’ve just looked at plain white walls and lived in the disappointment that our landlord said no paint. (We even offered to have someone paint it professionally!) But as I’m setting out to look for ways of living a more creative life, I came across the most fun ideas online. I could hang a huge piece of fabric across one wall. I could use wall decals (a fantastic idea I’m taking from some great friends of ours out here). At very least, I can stop cursing the white walls and appreciate their simplicity. Where else in my life can I do the same thing?

I hope that my life is one of creativity and fluidity and moving within the moment. I hope that I never become so absorbed in my own life that I miss you. I want to take risks and really live. I want to love the people in my life more fully and be more present for them. Feed them crazier food in a brightly colored dining room. I want to dream bigger.

I want the creative life.

For those of you out there already brilliantly doing just this – I would love to hear your thoughts and what your life looks like… I want to learn from you.

Transformers

I would really like to know where the plot was buried in Transformers 2. Don’t get me wrong – it was meant to be a distracting summer popcorn flick, and it succeeded in that. But if anyone finds a lost plot wandering the streets, please contact Michael Bay and tell him you found it. I wonder if there is a reward…

Quote of the Day – June 13, 2009

“When I sit down at my writing desk, time seems to vanish.  I think it’s a wonderful way to spend one’s life.”

- Erica Jong

I couldn’t have said it better myself.  Happy Saturday, everyone!

The Newness of it All

I love cooking. Love it, love it, love it.  I could spend an entire day in my kitchen and never get tired of it.  I used to never cook unless absolutely necessary (things like making oatmeal, coffee, rice, the occasional chicken tenderloin that I would dip in pre-bought sauce). Then, a couple years ago, I got the idea I should probably learn my way around a kitchen.  (Getting married probably had something to do with that.) 

Looking back, I didn’t just switch overnight from hating the kitchen to loving it.  I had to try lots of different things.  I had to burn a lot of stuff, and have some really weird food that we decided to never make again.  (Tilapia stew, anyone?)   But I kept going.  I kept learning.  I kept stretching out to try new foods and new ingredients.  And now, after a couple years, I’ve really learned how to cook.  All that preparation means that now, I can spend a couple hours in the kitchen and be proud of it!  :)  Why would the rest of my life be any different?  

I did not get married and immediately become the perfect wife.  I had to figure that out along the way.  I’m still learning, and I still have so much to learn.  

I did not pick up a pen and immediately write a 100-page story.  I had to learn how to hold a pen.  I had to learn how to write my alphabet.  I had to learn to read.  I had to learn how to type.  I had to learn how to write a story.  My first hundred weren’t good.  But I kept going…  I knew that every story I wrote was going to be better than the one before it. 

There’s something to be said for pursuing something no matter how hard it is.  The newness of it all wears off after about the first week, and then you just have to keep practicing.  But it’s worth it.  Incredibly so!  This is something I’ve had to learn over and over again this past year.  I want to be done with the practicing and the learning!  I just want to DO what my heart is passionate about!  But I’m also realizing that if I jump right into something without the preparation and time invested, I’m going to fall flat on my face.  Probably end up with lots of bruises in the meantime. 

So I’m enjoying the journey – loving every chance I have to try something new – fighting ahead for the chance to keep learning and growing and writing.  And I’m baking coconut bread while I’m at it.   Everything is better with something tasty to enjoy along the way.

Dancing

I’ve been reading a Beth Moore book over the last few days, and she had an incredible thought that spun me off in a new direction in my writing. So I thought I would share.

“The church, comprised of all believers in Jesus, is generally pretending she’s cloaked with kingdom power and effectiveness while in reality she has exposed herself in powerlessness to the ridicule of the world.”

Which got me wondering – how have I been pretending?  How often do I dance yet forget to hear the music, to confine myself to it’s edges, it’s heart, passion and pull?  Music is only beautiful when it is marvelled at, respected, honored, cherished, and adopted in the movement of the dancer.  A broken rhythm is the end of the beauty, the crashdown of the dance, where the dancer is exposed to ridicule and laughter.  it is never the music that falters in its beats.  It is the dancer that refuses to play along, to absorb and adhere to something (the music) and someone (the composer) bigger than themselves.  When that happens, it is the obliteration of a moment meant to be entirely beautiful.  Instead, it is entirely gone wrong, with no one in the audience to blame.  The dancer, so caught up in the intricacies of their own dance, misses it when the lights come up and the janitors come in to sweep away the final gum wrappers and popcorn kernels left from an audience who came to see the world and left with only broken hearts and empty souls  - unfilled, untended, unamazed, simply because the dancer lied – they did not know best.  

So, if in my life, if I’ve hurt you with my wrong steps, if I’ve made you believe something that wasn’t true, I am so sorry.  I am completely imperfect and broken.  But God is working his way through my life, slowly.  Please don’t let my mistakes distract you from God’s true heart and who he really is.  I want you to know that you are loved and valuable.  I’m listening, and here whenever you need me.  Want to walk through life together?  

Dinner with Friends

I heart my friends.  Life has been really crazy and difficult over the last few months, but they still show up at our doorstep with pizza and love.  I look around at everyone in my life, and I am floored.  I couldn’t have asked for better friends.  And I mean that.  

I just wanted to share.

Goodbye, Millvina…

My entire life, I’ve been fascinated by the story of the Titanic. Completely and utterly fascinated by it. I’ve read tons of biographies of the victims and survivors, I’ve gone to who knows how many museum exhibits, I’ve watched countless documentaries. If I could have made a career out of being a Titanic historian, I seriously would have considered it. The stories are endless, and the frailties of humanity are always evident.

And this morning, the last known survivor of the Titanic, Millvina Dean, passed away.

I just wanted to take a moment and say goodbye. At the risk of sounding melodramatic, I promise your stories will never be forgotten..                                           .

(The image isn’t mine, obviously… CNN posted the image earlier today.)

Life as an Airplane Ride

I’m finding myself in a holding pattern… and all I want to do is land. But in the meantime, I’m going to watch Finding Neverland as my in flight movie, celebrating the beauty of creativity. I’m going to talk with my fellow passengers and make new friends. I’m going to talk with the little kid throwing a ball at the back of my seat. I’m going to play Barbies with the little girl sitting next to me. I’m going to write a love letter to Luke.

I’m going to be present in the moment, and then I will be surprised at the beautiful moments I would have missed if I were in such a hurry.

To my friends who have stuck by me in the midst of this crazy flight, I am so grateful for you. I promise I will land eventually.

The History of My Life, As Told by Jars

I’m sitting here, so very late at night, at my sister’s kitchen table. Jars of Clay is playing on my computer, and I’m listening and reliving so much of my life. So many beautiful moments, so many difficult ones. Every moment led me to where I am today, and every song has taught me something new – something about myself, about my life, about love, about God. I wonder what it will be like to listen to these songs when I’m 80 years old, surrounded by grandchildren (who will probably have Generation 50 iPods just implanted into their skulls). My past shaped me, and my future seems to be opening up, ready for the shaping to continue.
Jars’ new album is amazing, though. The first time I heard Long Fall Back to Earth, I wasn’t a huge fan. But the more I’ve listened to it, the more I’ve fallen asleep as it plays quietly from my iPod, the more it’s finding its way into my favorite albums. Listen… what will I remember from this one?

Star Trek is Fun Again!

Went to see Star Trek a few nights ago, and it’s amazing. Even if you’re not a Trekkie – go see it. You might be surprised. J.J. Abrams is a rockstar!