So this one is straight out of my journal.

I have been pondering why I do what I do, why I feel compelled to write every single day.  I’ve been rereading Madeleine L’Engle’s tiny lovely book Walking on Water, a beautiful reflection on the meaning of art in our daily lives, and in the many ways we relate to and try to understand and know God on a deeper level.  I love God and I love writing, and they are entirely separate and yet intertwined in this way I don’t even understand.  I know God better through story, and I understand Him more when I am being creative.  He is a creative God, after all, and I suppose that is just the part of Him that I reflect.  (God is also a great scientist, but I apparently missed that part of the mold.)  Madeleine (sidenote – she is the only author I ever felt such a deep kinship with that it seems odd to not refer to her as Madeleine.  My apologies to citation purists.) said, “But to serve any discipline of art… is to affirm meaning despite all the ambiguities and tragedy and misunderstanding which surrounds us.”

This is why I write.  The world around me is not perfect, not by a long stretch.  It is full of anger and pain, tragedy and sorrow, hurts and more.  But I believe there is meaning in spite of it all. There is still love.  There is still hope.  We are not here to serve ourselves, to further our own careers, to love ourselves above all others (which is in fact not love at all, but that is another story entirely).  We are here to reflect God to the world around us by living out the gifts and talents and passions He has placed in us despite our failings, and despite the fact that He has also given us the free will to deny those talents entirely.  I am a writer, and yet I sometimes gaze longingly at the lawyer, the teacher, the mommy, the business owner – and wish that I was in their spot.  Being a writer is never easy.  There is no set path, no 401K, no company picnics.  The other paths aren’t easy either, but at least there is some sort of general idea of where to go and what to do.

But in the midst of all of this, God whispers Just write.  I have been so encouraged by Madeleine’s words as well.  I write to affirm meaning in the world I see around me, because God affirms meaning in my life.  Despite all of our sins, despite every time we have chosen another way, God still sees meaning in our lives.  He still gives purpose and wisdom.  He still loves us.  He still loves me.

And so I write for another day.